And I'm still yours.

Am I?

Are you?

I'm not taking any risks anymore, dear.

24hrs for you to decide. Your call.

I can't stop myself from thinking of it.

I simply can't.

I know it almost has nothing to do with me.

Guess I have to accept it no matter what: we're different. You like that and I like this. You're like that and I'm like this. You don't like what I like and I don't like what you like either.

I've been in a relationship with him for almost three years. It may not be the greatest, the road is sometimes bumpy, there are some disagreements, but at least I (we) survive it and it still makes me smile incessantly. I'm terribly happy with what I have. He's (almost) perfect and he definitely is perfect for me.

Being with him is (almost) drama-less. I can see where things are going and where I'm (we're) gonna be in the future. I can't expect more. It all gets too comfy that at a point, I take it for granted. Which makes me ask: Why? Why did I let my pathetic self get carried away in your dangerous game? Why did I put him after you? Why?

I don't know when I started falling for you. The trip? MD incident? My spontaneous trip? Or ages before those? Did you know that since I came back home, I couldn't stop thinking of you? That I couldn't let him get into my life anymore? That I became a worse cry-baby? No. You didn't know. Simply because you don't even care.

Why did I let my guard down THAT easily? Merely because I pined for a more adventurous life. A new sparkling chapter.


You led me to your oasis. Gave me the first gulp to end my thirst. Promised me it would be fun and guilt-free. It's like a roller coaster. The naïve me took the ride joyfully. The sensation was beyond my expectation. I can still remember the butterflies in my stomach when the ride went up, slowly but sure. Then when it came down fast, I couldn't stop myself from enjoying it.

And exactly like a roller coaster, it ended abruptly. I was woken up rudely, only to face the reality: the fun was over. It mustn't continue. Still, I couldn't part from it. I expected more. And more. And more. I even did some stupid things to resurrect it. And the result? It's really over, no matter what I did.

I had some dark days, the days when I just let my mind repeating every single thing we had. And cried over it. Silly Cily wanted things that you never offered. I was pathetic, I know.

What slapped me and forced me to face the ugly truth was the e-mail you sent me. Thanks to it, my eyes are now widely open. I finally made up my mind.


One thing for sure: I'm with him, for better and for worse. Thanks to you, I appreciate my relationship more than I did. It's priceless and I won't ruin it at any stakes. I won't make the same idiotic mistake.

Can't believe it's been two months and a week since my last post. *blaming Twitter*

Lots of things have been happening these two months. Both good and bad ones. Gonna post about them tomorrow. =)


Don't know how I should react. =) I'm quite happy with this 'change' though.

Sb called me around 11am today. A guy. Let's call him X.

X: Spoiled brat?
C: Hah? Who are you?
X: Have forgotten me? Never mind then.
C: Ok.

And both of us ended the phone call. No SMS or whatsoever afterwards.

One word: WEIRD!!

Something weird is happening and I don't know how or why.

There's this rumour about me and you. Don't know when it started, who the pioneer was and why it's talked about.


What makes me even angrier is that I'm mistaken as the source! For God's sake, until 10pm last night, I had no idea AT ALL!! Okay, I may have been sharing too much to my darls, but not about that! And how am I supposed to babble about it when I haven't seen any of them for almost a month? You tell me!

Also, if you think it's too much, why don't YOU face them? Instead of leaving it all to me? When I'm totally blur as well?

Does forget-it ring any bell?? I have a vision that I'm the only one who uses it well. Stop reminiscing or reminding me about it. I have no interest in whatsoever you're planning. Not until you have the conscience (and the guts) to explain stuff to me.


PS: I may regret writing (or typing) this, but hey, it won't be the first time. And absolutely not the last either. PPS: I've always been a drama queen when it comes to you. PPPS: And you're the drama king.