Yosely. Cily. Jo. 郭臻璎。
Full time student.
Translator and tutor.
Sarcasm plus cynicism mixed with genuine concern.
Addicted to Western TV series.
Introvert AND extrovert at the same time.
♥ NO REGRET
♥ college again, major in Japanese literature
♥ move out from Medan
♥ a new phone
♥ a new digital camera
♥ great main job + fun side job
♥ certainty ;)
next to read
Wuthering Heights ~ Emily Brontë
The Book of Tomorrow ~ Cecelia Ahern
那个女孩叫 Feeling ~ 藤井树
"'Cause you are the piece of me I wish I didn't need
Chasing relentlessly, still fight and I don't know why
If our love is tragedy, why are you my remedy?
If our love's insanity, why are you my clarity?"
Wednesday, February 27, 2013 @ 5:03 PM
That moment when you can no longer shed tears for that certain someone, you realize that you may have reached your limit. You start to analyze why it doesn't feel the same anymore. You wonder why it's easier now. You don't feel sad, nor do you feel angry, it's just, ..., empty. Like there's a hole absorbing every single emotion you may have left.
You know what, it's the perfect time for you to let go. ;)
Thursday, January 17, 2013 @ 7:45 PM
"You and I go hard, at each other like we going to war
You and I go rough, we keep throwing things and slammin' the door
You and I get so, damn dysfunctional we stopped keeping score
You and I get sick, yah I know that we can't do this no more"
Friday, January 4, 2013 @ 10:09 PM
"You took the time to memorize me my fears my hopes and dreams
I just like hanging out with you all the time
All those times that you didn't leave it's been occuring to me
I would like to hang out with you for my whole life"
Casualty of Love
Saturday, December 29, 2012 @ 9:34 PM
Wae so sad one? (-̩̩-̩̩̩-̩̩_-̩̩-̩̩̩-̩̩)
Me: Tau lagu 不必在乎我是誰？
Me: Lagunya Sandy Lam jaman dulu. 女人若沒人愛多可悲。就算是有人聽我的個會流淚，我還是真的期待有人追，何必在乎我是誰。
To Face Too Faced
Friday, December 28, 2012 @ 10:07 PM
Early (Chinese) new year present! Omg so excited! Can't wait to be finally home to hold this baby!
So pretty it hurts! (Photo taken from Anita's Instagram)
At Every Level
Wednesday, December 26, 2012 @ 3:36 PM
I used to believe that distance is just a number but the universe has been playing me so hard that I had to admit that distance is everything. Oh, and timing as well. Timing has been cruel on us the past few weeks. Or should I say, months? Potato potato. I don't mind to wait, but I need certainty. I need to know how long do I have to wait and if the wait is worth all the pain.
Despite all the hindrance, you've once again shown that every obstacles would mean nothing once we, or in this case, you, make up our mind. Your unspoken thoughts never cease to touch me, not even once. It still feels surreal how you went through all the way and trouble to accompany me when I needed you most. For that, I thank you very much.
Call me self-centered, but I don't think I could go as far as you did. Haha. I've just proven what you said two years ago, that I'm incapable of sacrificing when it comes to us. Maybe it's not that I am not able to sacrifice, but it's because I am not a gambler, and I sure don't want to bet on us. For taking risk on us, I thank you very much.
For providing me the security any girl would ask for, thank you very much. For the certain uncertainty, thank you very much. For being you, thank you very much.
Hall of Fame
Monday, December 17, 2012 @ 10:00 PM
Where was I last weekend? Yap, the famous Kawah Putih.
With no other than Roy.
For pre-wed photoshoot.
While I was some kind of porter.
Continued the photoshoot at tea plantation but it was raining really hard.
It's a wrap!! Yayy!!
Souvenir I got. TT______TT
Friday, December 14, 2012 @ 11:54 PM
Mom: What time are you home?
Me: You're coming?? Yayy!!
Mom: For one night only.
Me: Bring fried shallot.
Mom: I'm staying for one night only. Gotta rush back to Jakarta tomorrow.
Me: Never mind. Now, rush here, please. Bring an umbrella and wear jacket.
Mom: What for? Me: It's been really cold these past few days.
Mom: How cold could it be?
Long story short: momsie came to visit me! Fufufu~~
Six Degrees Of Separation
Wednesday, December 12, 2012 @ 9:47 PM
"First, you think the worst is a broken heart
What's gonna kill you is the second part
And the third, Is when your world splits down the middle
And fourth, you're gonna think that you fixed yourself
Fifth, you see them out with someone else
And the sixth, is when you admit that you may have fucked up a little"
Tuesday, December 11, 2012 @ 5:50 PM
don't know if I should be happy or depressed that we meet somehow too
often recently. Mixed feelings every now and then. Sometimes, I wish we
didn't get to see each other frequently so that we would cherish any
chance we have. Yet, sometimes I wish we could see each other regularly
so I wouldn't have any unnecessary worries. I know I'm being ridiculous,
I hate being a possessive girlfriend because I'm none of the said. It's just the control freak side of mine needs to get a hold of every single thing. I need to know what we're doing and how we're doing it. It's like I'm turning into some kind of boring housewife who has nothing
better to do than checking on her husband every ten minutes. Wait, I
don't do that, you know. It's just a figure of speech.
I used to be all secure and laid back but now I feel the need to claim my prize. *sigh* What's with all these insecurities and questions I've been having recently? You tell me.
Thursday, November 29, 2012 @ 8:36 PM
G: Yos, lu bulan Desember balik Medan ga?
Me: Blon tau. Sepertinya ga. Kenapa?
G: Mau makan gratis.
G: Kalo sakit yang ringan2 bole opname ga ya?
Me: Seringan apa?
G: Demam biasa.
Me: Mao claim asuransi?
G: Ga. Enak aja dilayanin.
Saturday, November 24, 2012 @ 3:53 PM
A friend asked me, "How much does a guy have to earn in a month to deserve to be your husband?"
My future husband has to have a house and a car before we get married. A
house where we can stay peacefully without having to worry if we can
afford the mortgage loan or the rent. A house big enough for our little
family to stay comfortably. A car so our future children don't have to
go through heavy rain or scorching hot weather when they go out.
My future husband doesn't have to earn a billion per month or something ridiculous like that. He has to earn just enough.
Enough to pay for vitamins and expecting-mom milk during my pregnancy.
Enough to pay the hospital bills during delivery. Enough to provide our
little family three healthy meals a day. Enough to hire a housekeeper to
help me clean the house, well with my allergy, cleaning up is
challenging. Enough to pay the house maintenance bills. Enough to pay
hospital bills if any of us gets sick.
Enough to make sure our children go to the best school. Enough to pay
for our children's courses. Enough to buy our children additional
materials needed for their academic purposes. Enough to let them do
their hobbies. Enough to save for our children's college fund.
Enough to show the children how beautiful the world is. Enough to shower
the children with love without spoiling them. Enough to make them
Enough to realize my dream of having a mini library. Enough to build me a
walk-in shoe-closet. Enough to create our own mini theatre. Enough for
annual vacations, not necessarily to some fancy countries, just a simple
vacation, just us. Enough entertainment for our little family.
Enough to save. Enough to put some money into investment. Enough to buy insurance for us.
Bottomline is my husband needs to earn enough to make sure our little family live comfortably. Just enough.
Saturday, November 10, 2012 @ 8:58 PM
Sometimes, I just want to quit and never look back. Some other times, I keep telling myself that it will be paid off. Truth is,the future isn't something we are able to predict. I can only pray that I could find all the puzzle pieces and they could fit each other perfectly.
Sunday, November 4, 2012 @ 9:50 PM
When I ask you questions, I need answers. I don't ask just because I run out of topics.
When I tell you about my plan, it's implicit that I want you to be a part of it as well.
When I stay up late waiting for you, I hope you are there for me.
Saturday, November 3, 2012 @ 9:55 PM
The package from Dojo arrived on Friday. Have been eyeing The Thirteenth Tale for years but seemed like I couldn't make up my mind to buy it. Got it at Dojo for IDR 20.000, I guess.
Novels: IDR6.000 each. Bidadari Merah 8: Used. IDR7.000. Bidadari Merah 9: IDR10.500 (40% off from the normal price). Wrapping paper is for my scrap book project.
They say don't judge a book by its cover, don't judge somebody from their appearance, and so on. Do you judge people? I do. Every now and then. Everybody judges everybody. Even when you decide not to judge, it's a kind of judgment as well.
I don't judge people by their social status, nor do I judge people from how they look. I judge them from their friends and TV series that they watch. I know the latter might sound crazy, but trust me it works.
For instance, somebody who watches Friends, 2 Broke Girls and Partners might be sarcastic and have huge sense of humour. While somebody who watches Korean drama religiously is most probably a hopeless romantic. Do I make any sense? Lols.
Wednesday, October 31, 2012 @ 9:01 PM
Wish me luck!!
Isn't this cute? Purple and floral, what more can I ask?
Tuesday, October 30, 2012 @ 1:54 PM
Him: Silakan tiduran aja.
Me: Memang lagi tiduran. Bantal kecil mengganjal pinggang.
Him: Macem nenek-nenek aja.
Monday, October 29, 2012 @ 8:52 PM
Bio Placenton heals my leg magically fast!
I almost missed the chance to come back to Bandung this morning. All of the shuttle bus service was fully booked. Luckily, somebody cancelled their reservation so I got to be back to Bandung on time for my Bunpou quiz. I missed half of Kiso class though, couldn't bear the dizziness and exhaustion anymore.
Dear you, thank you for the thoughtful presence (yap, not present). Sometimes, it's the thought that matters, not the action. That, I thank you very much. See you when I see you. Soon?
Danger Made Me
Sunday, October 28, 2012 @ 10:47 PM
Most frequently asked question: "Did you fall from a motorbike?" No, I didn't.
I was looking for my phone in my bag and didn't pay attention to the road. Riana saw the drain and tried to warn me but it's too late, I fell already. Suay sia. Walked to Herbert's place with bleeding leg. TT_____TT
Oh, yes, I am in Jakarta right now. Will go back to Bandung first thing in the morning tomorrow.
Saturday, October 27, 2012 @ 6:33 PM
Madre the movie is in production! Yayy! They're shooting some scenes in Jalan Braga. Yap, that's where Tan de Bakker is. Saw it when I was on my home from MKAA. I am so very really excited!
Tan de Bakker.
Tan de Bakker and neighbours. Love the colourful theme.
Thursday, October 25, 2012 @ 7:32 PM
Went to Hyper Paskal Square for a job interview this evening. I don't know what made the interviewer thought it's okay to schedule a meeting at 6pm one day before the long holiday. The traffic was so bad I can't even ... I spent 45 mins to reach there just to be dismissed after 15 mins of talking. *facepalm*
It's crystal clear that the interviewer read neither my application letter nor my CV. She asked some questions that I had clearly stated in my application letter and CV. "Where do you study?" "How old are you?" "Have you ever taught before?" and so on. Why did she even bother to set a meeting with me if she had no idea about my qualification?
Wish me luck. I need that job. I need teaching to keep me sane.
Wednesday, October 24, 2012 @ 9:25 PM
Among all the group assignments we have done before, this one is the most challenging and fun. Our lecturer asked us to create our own recipe, it must be unusual yet still edible. My group came up with sushi filled with fried rice. Super simple one. We named it Kinzuishin Zushi. Photo time!
Fiasco Cooking by our class.
Yours truly and Aldo.
Kim Bong Lie.
The last meeting with ko Adrian, he's going to Jakarta to pursue his dream in entertainment world.
The one without me.
Saw this "elite" Alfamart when I was wandering around Asia Afrika with Vera.
Monday, October 22, 2012 @ 8:10 PM
G: Menurut KTP, gw ultah hari ini.
Me: Jadi menurut KTP lu, g harus bilang selamat ultah?
Sunday, October 21, 2012 @ 9:33 PM
"They said people keep fighting about the same things until it breaks them apart. You know what? Maybe we're there."
"Sometimes, we fight for something only to discover by the time we get it, our goals have changed. For some, it's too late."
"We have things we need to do our own. But when we are both in that next place, we will be together. For good."
"Maybe you are so focused on how everyone else perceives you, that you no longer know who you are."
"He's devastated me, but he's also made me happier than I've ever been."
"You are a distraction. Because when we're together, you're all I think about."
"It's the boy that blames the girl, not the man. And that's what I want to be with you."
"You think you two have an epic love, but all you have are excuses."
"I always put you first. And you bet against me every time."
"You've fought for me all year. I've come to fight for you. You said I always bet against you, but this time I'm all in."
The break has broken and it's time to go back to college. Assignments and endless daily quizzes are lining up. As for me, drama queens are looking forward to dragging me to their dull plays. They say stupidity has no limit, well, I couldn't agree more. Bring it on, dumbos! Don't swim if you don't know how to float. ;)
You know you hate me.
Star in You
Saturday, October 20, 2012 @ 9:38 PM
*in the classroom in Museum Konferensi Asia Afrika*
Me: Okay. Kelas hari ini sampai di sini saja.
Me: Iya. Uda 10.30. Nanti kita diusir-usir lagi karena kelamaan pakai ruang ini.
Student: Ga terasa uda jam segini.
I'm one happy teacher! Nothing makes me happier than students who tell me that time flies when I teach them as it means I'm not a boring teacher.
*in the angkot on my way home*
Ibu-ibu: Neng, ketemu lagi.
Me: Urm? Memangnya kita pernah ketemuan di mana ya, Bu? Her: Tadi pagi kita naik angkot yang sama, neng.
Me: Iya ya?
Her: Iya. Sama-sama dari Surya Sumantri sana.
Either I'm too memorable or she pays too much attention to strangers.
Sound of Music
Friday, October 19, 2012 @ 6:07 PM
In every song that I sing, there are my feelings for you. In every song that I sing, there are messages for you. In every song that I sing, there are images of you. In every song that I sing, there are unsaid anger towards you. In every song that I sing, there are you.
Thursday, October 18, 2012 @ 7:54 PM
When you want something badly enough, you start building up a certain kind of wall filled with excitements and hopes. The said wall is meant to be some kind of shield, to protect you from unnecessary distractions, to make yourself focus on achieving whatever your goal is, hoping the end result is exactly what you want.
Sometimes, we nurture some kind of ridiculous expectations that are hard
to be fulfilled. We deny any signs about possible failures. We keep
telling ourselves if we have been good enough, things will just
magically fall into place and that everything will be alright. Just like
When things don't go as smoothly as expected, we hit low. Sometimes, we blame each other. Sometimes, we blame the situation. Sometimes, we blame the distance. Sometimes, we blame the lack of communication. Sometimes, we blame the timing. Sometimes, we make anything up just so we have something to be blamed. Yet never do we blame ourselves.
Dealing with disappointment is all about managing one's expectations. Failure might not be that bitter if we don't anticipate anything grand. Success might taste even sweeter if we lower our expectancy. That, I learned the hard way.
Wednesday, October 17, 2012 @ 5:47 PM
Here's his answer after I sent him the above picture:
"Bahasa sampah wanita. Mutar-mutar sampe New York. No wonder people don't understand. Cari mati sendiri itu. Let me translate those words to my answers.
Nothing, forget it. -- OK, I am going to the gym then.
Are you tired? -- What do you mean am I tired? Of course I am. And I want to sleep, thanks for asking anyway.
I'm okay. -- All is well then. I'm going to watch Sandra Bullock.
I'm cold. -- Take some medicine, or go see a doctor.
Leave me alone. --- Fine. Holler when you're done.
I love you. -- Love you."
I literally LOL when I read his reply. Tsk! Guys. =))
Tuesday, October 16, 2012 @ 10:14 PM
The angkot I took this afternoon rerouted so I had to take off at Setiabudhi. So, as I was already in front of Setiabudhi Supermarket and I had never been inside, I decided to get in. Omoo~~ Ci Dewi always says how Setiabudhi Supermarket has wider range of food than Yogya in Riau Junction and she's right! The cooking ingredients they have there is amazing! The snacks section makes my mouth drool. The chocolate shelves have exactly what I want! They even have swallow nest for sale! Too bad the arrangement is messy. And the building has some creepy aura. It can be only me though.
Best part of it? It has Periplus! Pretty big one! Yayyness!! I found these two books in the discounted area. Never heard of these books so I Googled the reviews and most of the readers rated them 4/5. Bought them without further consideration.
And you know the best part of these books? I told you they're in the discounted area, right? Guess how much did they cost...
I bet your guesses were wrong!! As you can see from the photo above, they only cost me IDR35k both! What a bargain!! I can't get any happier than this.
Not long after I reached home, Agus called me.
Him: Yos, Yos..
Me: What? Don't tell me you're asking for road directions again.
Me: Okay. Where to where?
Him: I don't know where I am. It's written H.M. Yamin. I need to go back to Swiss Bel.
Me: And where are you exactly at? Any shop?
Him: Urm.. I've just passed Popeye's Bakery.
Me: Okay. Go straight. After you pass the second railroad you'll see, turn left. Then go straight until you pass the train station, turn right after that. You'll see Lonsum, go straight. Turn left on the second turn, after you see a dead end, turn right. Go straight until you pass a bridge. Turn left on the traffic lights. Turn right after that. You'll see Bank Sumut. I believe you know how to get to Swiss Bel from there.
Him: Urm, Yos. You know, you'll make a good taxi driver, in case you can't find a job, you know.
Monday, October 15, 2012 @ 10:44 PM
Me: *sent him the above photo*
Him: Sama jeleknya. Uda dibilang, gunting bob, gaya SPG lagi yang dipilih.
Me: Aku cuma gunting poni dan ngerapiin bagian bawah. At least, I know you like the side-swept fringe.
Sunday, October 14, 2012 @ 2:33 PM
Current favourite cookies. Healthy and nyummy!
Me: Bitch, please.
Him: You calling me bitch? Me: ...
Him: You called me bitch!
Me: That's an idiom.
Beat Goes On
Saturday, October 13, 2012 @ 9:30 PM
Another morning spent in Museum Asia Afrika teaching Japanese even though when it came to pronunciation, I asked Kurniawan-san to teach. Given my crappy pronunciation, intonation and basically everything, I can't be the one to teach, unless I want the students to end up having bad 発音 like me. :'( Kurniawan-san taught the しゃ、しゅ、しょ、ちゃ、ちゅ、ちょ、ひゃ、ひゅ、ひょ, etc. and he's very good at it, you know. He sounds like a native Japanese. He even pronounces ひ perfectly! And for a 二年生 (just like me) he's really fluent. *sadface*
Instead of sitting idly, I also drilled some words together with the students. Ultimate 自信がない moment. *facepalm*
Anyway, I've just found out there are three types of intonation for はし。
はしで食べる。 Eat using chopsticks.
はしで食べる。 Eat on the bridge.
はしで食べる。 Eat by the edge.
A real are-you-kidding-me moment! I spent my time drilling はし (chopsticks), はし (bridge), and はし (edge) in the angkot on my way home. Geez. I really need to use Japanese more if I want to be ペラペラ soon.
Monday, October 8, 2012 @ 3:21 PM
Some guys from Ultima II used my photo that's taken by Andy without our permission. All of the team members: photographer (Andy), make-up artist (Heru), photo editor (Jeff), and model (yours truly) didn't know about this. Despite the fact that the make-up artist's name is on the brochure, he didn't know anything about it either. We're seriously thinking about suing them. However, at this moment, we're not sure who the guys behind the photo-stealing are, it might be the printing company's fault.
It took Andy days to get this photo concept, ko Jeff worked so hard to make this photo more perfect than it already was, not to forget Heru who had to go under pressure to meet Andy's expectations. I myself don't want my face on some cheapskate brochures. Okay, Ultima II is a well known cosmetic brand, but still ... I've left my "modelling" days behind. I'm glad momsie is out of town so she doesn't get to see this. Urgh.
He Said She Said
@ 8:07 AM
Me: You're now as cold as me! You!!
Vianry: I'm still warmer. If you were me, you wouldn't have replied and given a shit.
Me: True that.
Me: When I joke, you take me seriously. When I'm being serious, you think I'm joking.
Him: That is why you should put hashtags on all your sentences. So that we know.
Sunday, October 7, 2012 @ 7:57 PM
Starting yesterday, I am one of the teachers at Museum Asia Afrika, teaching Japanese. I was appointed to teach the beginner class. Honestly, it's a big responsibility for me, considering I myself am not fluent yet. But whatever, I need this event to get me some new friends who speak Japanese fluently. Lols.
Also, I've just realised that I love teaching so much that I'm willing to do
it on Saturday. Early in the morning. And without making any money out
of it. Yeah, I know I sound so materialistic and it's as if I'm not
willing to do the volunteering. Well, it's just a metaphor, k. The moment I stood in front of the classroom and started teaching, I felt like I was home. True story. Kamaga-san and Bram-senpai said I'm good at teaching. Yayy. But then they told me I am too strict and I should joke more. Seriously? Here I am, thinking I am funny enough to be a stand up comedian.
Speaking of stand up comedian, I went to @pandji's Merdeka Dalam Bercanda tour in the evening. Yeah, it somehow makes me look like a despo, being alone on a Saturday night, watching the show all by myself. Lols. I would love to be somewhere else, you know. #hint Too bad, my pride stopped me from doing so. Again.
The show was hilarious. I laughed so hard I literally rolled on my chair. For two hours. The 50k was really well spent. Couldn't wait for the next stand up night held by Stand Up Indo Bandung.
To make up for not being able to have lunch with Yenny yesterday, I met up with her in Anata earlier this morning. She had her hair dyed while I had my usual monthly session: creambath and mani-pedi. Oh, had my hair cut again also. Same length but with more layers and somehow thinner, just they way I like it.
Ho was there too, accompanying Yenny. We decided to contact Erick whom I haven't seen since 2008 for some catch-up sessions. Since Erick doesn't live near my place anymore, we decided to meet up in IP. Ho said he wanted to eat Sour Sally's yoghurt before leaving. I didn't know that Ho likes to eat yoghurt. I think yoghurt is not for guys. Laughed at him because of this. Yes, I'm being sexist. Lols.
Ho and Yenny had to leave earlier to catch their bus back to Bogor (Ho) and Cirebon (Yenny) so I was left there with Erick. Thought it would be awkward for both of us but turned out we had a nice catch-up session. Two hours flew by just like that. Well, it worked better than most of my dates. =pp
Spending too much time at this crazy campus makes me treasure every single moment I get to spend with my friends. Like, seriously. They are like fuel to my engine. Eaaaa~~
All We Are
Friday, October 5, 2012 @ 8:29 PM
Me: Everybody says my hair is nice. Except you!
Him: Everybody is blind.
Me: Halah. Mmg bagus kok.
Him: Pantakmu bagus. Macem SPG. Such a cheap hair style, makes you look CHEAP!!
Me: Mmg bagus!! I look young and fresh!
Him: Yeah. Cheap like an SPG selling shell fish.
Me: (¬.¬)" What makes you hate this hairstyle so? I had the same one some years ago.
Him: Did you not know I don't really like short haired ladies? And given the lame shit style which looks like batok style. It's so yester-century. If you chose bob one side short one side long, it coulda been better.
Me: I did ask you before I had it cut. You said go ahead.
Him: I said bob style. Half long half short!!
Me: You think very easy to take care ar that one? (¬.¬)"
Him: You think this one is a lot different to take care from that one?
Me: At least they are the same length oneeeee. I'll get the poni lempar style you like later before I go home.
Him: Whatever lar. It’s not my hair.
Me: This is the first time in the last 8 years you ever comment about my hair. And you keeeeeeeep saying it looks bad.
Him: Now longer already looks better. When just cut a.. Honestly speaking, you looked like CRAP!
Don't know why he hates my new hair so. Oh, and he keeps blaming me for his deteriorating English when it's obvious he's the one who likes to use broken English. Pardon our rojak English. It feels like home when you find someone who is able to understand your crappy language and reply in the exact same shitty lingo. Lols.
Thursday, October 4, 2012 @ 7:02 PM
Handling disappointment has never been one of my virtues. Neither has coping with sadness. I'm lost at words to describe how upset I am upon your bailing out. You keep telling me how I'm such a rebel, while in fact, even when I was being such a nice and obedient girl, you still came up with lame excuses. I know you are a lot of things but I never took you as a chicken.
I hate crossing dates on the calendar, counting down to the days we could finally meet. I hate crossing my fingers every now and then, wishing for your presence. I hate crossing some lines, imposing my existence. I hate crossing you.
We both know we have limited time. Why don't make the best out of it
instead of playing games again and again? Say what? I've dealt my last
Ace yet you didn't budge at all. The ball is in your court at this
moment, it all depends on you.
Sunday, September 30, 2012 @ 6:04 PM
GD in shower cap is still hot as hell. What kind of sorcery is this? God must be in a really good mood when creating GD.
"My heart feels sad but I have no one to talk to
I wanna smile broadly sometimes but there's no one beside me
Maybe I’m missing you"
Lesson of the week: Every relationship requires work, even the eff-ed up one.
I thought all we need is the chance to execute our plan. Turned out I was wrong. I forgot to count the most important things: effort and willingness.
We used to blame the situation and condition for forcing us to miss all the fun we might had. We used to blame our hectic schedule for stopping us to making our own schedule. We used to blame the distance. I guess we are so busy blaming other factors that we put our responsibilities behind our back. Now that we have all the supporting elements, did we manage to finally do what we wanted to? We didn't.
Nothing good comes out from two self-centered and arrogant people like us. Our pride hinders us from doing our part. Well, the cancellation didn't come as a surprise but it doesn't mean it was painless. After all the disappointment I had, I thought I would be immune to it. Haha. It still hurts as hell.
I'm exhausted to be the only one who makes all the effort yet you don't even bother to meet me halfway. I'm beat.
Thursday, September 27, 2012 @ 9:15 PM
Moving on is easy. Letting go, THAT, is hard.
Sometimes, people mistake moving on as letting go. I myself have witnessed a lot of people having a hard time during this period. I don't know what (or how) the deal is with other people and I'm not
saying I'm an expert either. However, when we decide to move on,
shouldn't we let go too?
Something similar to this happened again. Hhhh. A friend had broken up with his ex-gf months before I came to their life. I didn't know and I didn't want to know what happened between them two. What I know was, he's single and it's not a sin to befriend with a man. Haha.
God knows why the ex-gf keeps (yes, until now) taking me as her deathly enemy. After her "friendly" message through fb the end of last year, I decided to keep my distance. Fair enough, right?
The ex-gf still pays ridiculous attention to me and most of the time it's annoying the hell out of me. Earlier this month, after they got back together, the guy told me he's not supposed to see me because of his gf. Wtf. It's not like we've been having an affair behind her back! Was she being absurdly insecure or what? I don't even see the guy often. Geez. Okay, I was actually flattered by that statement. I didn't know I was such a threat to their relationship. Rawr!!
I've been very patient these past few months because my instincts told
me she's head over heels with him. There's nothing wrong with being insanely in
love, right? Except the part that it literally makes you go insane.
It came as a surprise when I heard that they broke up again and the woman is with somebody else now. I honestly thought the woman's unhealthy obsession would never meet an end. Lol. I was happy for her, you know. Having got a new bf, she should be all over the moon and enjoying her honeymoon period and would leave me all alone now.
Some days ago, when I was getting out of the elevator, I saw her with her new bf. I tried to smile at her. You know, being friendly and stuff? She didn't smile back. Instead, she pointed at me and said something to the new bf, "She's the one who ..." I didn't hear what she said next and couldn't really be bothered either. It's tremendously disgusting!
What did I do to deserve that? It's not like I was the cause of their break-up! Wtf. IF she has really moved on AND let go, shouldn't I be the least of her worries? And telling tales about me to her new bf?? Wtf is that?
Up until this moment, I still don't get why she did that. I'm actually glad I don't understand her motives, that's a proof I'm not as mental as her. The thing is, my patience is getting thinner and thinner, the moment she pisses me off again would be the moment I snap at her. Hhhh.
Wednesday, September 26, 2012 @ 9:31 PM
This is what happens when I go to Riau Junction. One-month worth of groceries in mere 45 minutes.
The best sentence to describe how I am feeling now is also the most cliche one ever: Time flies. Hhhh. Assignments and daily quizzes hunt me mercilessly. Not to mention the upcoming mid test. I hope by the time the mid test ends, I can have a break. Physically and mentally. #hint
Friday, September 21, 2012 @ 8:19 PM
Not only am I a Sundanese, I'm also an irresponsible father. *facepalm*
Sunday, September 16, 2012 @ 11:11 PM
GD is so hot I can't even ...
GD is the only guy I know who is still hot and manly even when he's wearing a hairband, a skirt, or a DRESS!! And he doesn't need to be all muscular and beefy and stuff. It's like he's born to be a present to womankind. Is "womankind" even a word? All I know is I can't stand his eyefuck and cheeky smiles. Wae like that one??
I don't know if I like GD because he is like you or I like him because you are like him. I don't make any sense at all. Wth.
Tales Don't Tell Themselves
Saturday, September 15, 2012 @ 8:56 PM
Despite the fact that I'm 25 now, there are countless matters in life that I can't seem to fathom. For instance:
I don't get some insignificant people in college who hate me for unknown reasons. I'm okay with people disliking me upon my own behaviour or attitude. It's not like I can please everybody, right? What I cease to understand is why they nurture the irrational hatred towards me while we have never communicated on daily basis. Or be in the same room long enough for them to know me.
In spite of my GPA, fellow students (and some lecturers for that matter) still take me as a dumb bimbo. Hello? I was not born beautiful, the least I can do is make myself presentable, right? What's wrong with applying some make-up every now and then? It's not like I abandon my study for that. Geez. Looking good makes you feel good, isn't it so?
On another note, women who think beauty is the answer to everything is another concept I can't comprehend. Last time I checked, a brainless beautiful woman is such a turn off.
People who think I'm their rival is another joke that I fail to get. I can't be bothered to acknowledge their existence yet it seems like they spend a lot of time and effort to knock me down. Seriously? It's not like we have ranking system in college.
I realize that kissing some right bums might make your life easier. What I don't understand is why some people think it's the only way? Like, if you want good scores, shouldn't you study hard instead of wasting your time kissing bums?
Well, those are typical people I interact with in college every single day. Sadly, most of them are my seniors who should be good role-models instead of being such a pain in the arse. As much as I hate the atmosphere (and some of the people) there, going to college again is one of the best decisions I've made.
Thursday, September 13, 2012 @ 10:08 PM
In case anybody wonders how my new hair looks like.
I'm officially 25 today!! Enough said.
Monday, September 10, 2012 @ 10:45 PM
Sometimes, being good alone is not enough. Sometimes, it's not the action that hurts but the thought about executing it. Sometimes, being vocal is not necessarily the right thing to do. Sometimes, we have to let go. Sometimes, it's all in our mind. Sometimes, just sometimes, we have to sit back and let things take their course.
Yet, most of the times, we fail.
You know that blah moment when you stick with somebody even though you know they are bad for you? Well, aren't we all like that? I guess that's what people mean by comfort zone. The deadly zone where everything goes on smoothly, you feel relaxed and cozy.
Life is funny, don't you agree? I found out that sometimes, the people whom you seek comfort from might not be the shelter for your sadness but in contrary, it's the wall that stops you from finding your true happiness.
I wonder if I make any sense at all.
Love in Heart
Saturday, September 8, 2012 @ 11:15 AM
Me: Album Fish Leung yang baru bagus banget!
Him: Dia ga jadi hamil?
Me: Pertanyaan apa itu?!
Him: Ga jadi hamil jadi bisa keluar album.
Me: Memangnya kalo lage hamil jadi ga bisa nyanyi?
He had his heart broken severely when Fish Leung got married. Lols.
Friday, September 7, 2012 @ 10:45 PM
Well, I haven't updated for, err, more than three months? Got busy with my final exam for last semester and his visit. Meant to update once I got home but the internet connection was so lousy that I had to depend on my bb to survive my cyber life. I know, I know.
I've made some drastic change to myself since the end of last month. Dyed my hair red (although it came out brown) using Beauty Labo and had my hair cut (impulsively) in Anata. I was having the shiok creambath session when I decided THAT might be the perfect moment to have my hair chopped. Won't lie to you, I did pray and pray that the stylist would be good enough.
At first, Mas Yus (the hairstylist from Anata) kept persuading me not to have my hair cut short, saying how my long neck and tall figure might not go well with short hair. Told him I had had bob years ago and it looked just fine. He finally gave in although he kept telling me he wouldn't cut as short as I wanted. He did a good job on my hair, if I may say so myself. People have been complementing how I look fresh and young with this hair style. Hehe. Except him who told me I look like some auntie in Sambu. Err..
I also decided to leave the gembel style I've adopted since I moved to Bandung and go back to the old me. Sion said, "I wonder how they will react when they see you wearing a dress. Just like when you're in Medan." Most likely it will shock my friends, considering how Vera reacted when I went to college wearing crop tee. *sigh*
All in all, I'm pretty glad to be back to college. Except for the quizzes. Hey, have I mentioned that I got 50% off of the tuition fee? Yes, I got the scholarship! Yay for me!!
Monday, May 28, 2012 @ 9:33 PM
There are times in our lives when love really does conquer all.
And then there are those times when it seems like love brings us nothing...
Burn It Down
Saturday, May 26, 2012 @ 10:21 AM
"We're building it up
To break it back down
We're building this up
To burn it down
We can't wait
To burn it to the ground "
Reading the whole lyrics makes me believe that this song is made for us. "I played soldier, you played king," so it said. Well, it's us, don't you think so?
Sometime I wonder why I let (or rather, make) my guard down when it comes to you. Sometimes I wonder why we treat each other like sworn enemies yet we are never really willing to let each other go. Sometimes I wonder when this is gonna end, if it ever happens at all. Sometimes I wonder if one day I'm gonna look back at these days and laugh at my own stupidity. Most of the times I wonder if you wonder the same stuff as well.
The Girl Who Can't Break Up, The Boy Who Can't Leave
Wednesday, May 23, 2012 @ 9:21 PM
"The sun is hot but your heart is frozen
Whose fault is this?
But I love you baby
Everything else is the same but we changed
Whose fault is this? I still love you baby"
Thursday, May 17, 2012 @ 7:22 PM
My handwriting on the blackboard.
Nyums and cheap like siao!! Omooo~~
Will definitely go to @osengmercon again and again!!
Wednesday, May 16, 2012 @ 9:41 PM
This year's play by Japanese Literature faculty of Maranatha Christian University.
Class of 2009. The play is for their Bungaku class.
Some of my classmates who were the stage crews.
Grace, Syeren, and I were the ticketing staff.
Apparently the camwhore staff as well. Lols.
Super desperate attempts trying to look tianzhen.
Kame and Otohime. Laughed like siao everytime I saw Kame-san.
Some casts in the play.
The other casts.
The head of Japanese Literature, Ethel sensei.
Saturday, May 12, 2012 @ 11:40 PM
Mission Impossible; Day II: Accomplished!!
Woke up with dozens of butterflies in my stomach. =.=" I didn't know what is on my mind when I told my lecturer I would like to join the speech contest. Haish. Unlike contestants from the other universities, the representatives from my university only had one week to prepare ourselves. =D I actually had one month, but being the professional procrastinator, I prepared stuff at the eleventh hour. ._.
The man behind my script.昌武釜我。
I had some topics on my mind but I couldn't figure (or decide) which one would work better. I was telling (more like whining actually) Riana how confused I was, she then mentioned something about how gadgets rule our life, so yeah, that's my topic! ガジェットのよくない影響 a.k.a The Negative Effects of Gadgets. Kamaga-san had been such a doll guiding me to channel my opinions to a 5-minute speech. よかった！！Can't thank both Riana and Kamaga-san enough!!
Done with the speech script, I had to practise the intonation and pronunciation. Difficult like siao, can? Fortunately, Marissa sensei offered to help me ask Watanabe sensei if he'd mind training me. I'm so glad when Watanabe sensei said he'd be happy to help. Omooo~~ Where got so nice one? >.<" The first session of training went pretty okay, I'm lucky I've always been good at adapting with languages. Fiuhh~~ The next day, I had Ethel sensei and Sri sensei to coach me. Both of them offered just like that. Why all so nice ones?? TT___________TT
Long story short, I got on the stage just like that. Had no idea what happened, but I forgot some parts of my speech. ='( No, I didn't get stage fright. I guess I didn't have enough time to calm myself. However, when I finished, the only comment I got (from Aldo) was that my voice wasn't loud enough. My classmates said that they didn't know I peeked at my script. ._.
On my way to the parking lot, I bumped into Watanabe sensei. Told him I was sorry for disappointing him and wasted his time coaching me. To my surprise, he said I was okay. Didn't know if he was being polite or I was really okay on the stage. He then showed me the recording of my speech. Well, I looked, ..., okay? I looked so peaceful and it's almost unseen that I forgot some parts of my speech. Looking forward to getting the video from him. =')
Kamaga-san also said my speech was okay. So, okay it is then. ^^