Eleven days ago, the struggling, the arguments I had with mom, the ways J tried to talk some sense into me, the hesitation had come to an end. I was finally granted the wish of coming/moving here, yet I felt empty. なぜ？ I'd like to fathom it as well. I should be joyous, excited and feeling more alive. But it's just, ..., empty.
Fast forward to the present time, I'm still in the zombie mode. It feels like there's a big hole which is so big that no enough joy or thrill could mend it on my heart.
I can't help but wondering, is this the right decision? To start over? To leave the hometown and begin a new life in another city without any close friends? To go to college again? Yeah, I'm a proud new student in Maranatha Christian University, majoring in Japanese literature. Which brings up the other question: Aren't I too old?
Guy friends aren't help either, NONE of them supports this decision. I don't get how/why ALL of them expect me to be waiting for my Prince Charming, get married and live happily ever after. Boring.
Anyway, the decision was taken. I'm coming back in couples of weeks' time. For good. For better or for worse, I must stick to it.