You thought ...
... nothing would bother you anymore.
... you'd put yourself together.
... you'd won the battle.
... everything had ended.
... disappointment had left you for good.
... none would trigger your anger.
... giving the benefit of the doubt was wise.
... time would change somebody's mind set.
Until it struck you, nothing is as simple as it's seen. Blaming yourself (or someone else) for the pain your innocence brought you does no good.
A really simple question - a 3-letter question word - why. Why? And you've never got any answer. There's never any reply to a question of such simplicity, merely because the answer is of great complexity.
It might be better if we could actually stop thinking too much and just do. No matter what the risk is. Life would be so much more adventurous and thrilling, wouldn't it?