<!-- --><style type="text/css">@import url(https://www.blogger.com/static/v1/v-css/navbar/3334278262-classic.css); div.b-mobile {display:none;} </style> </head><body><script type="text/javascript"> function setAttributeOnload(object, attribute, val) { if(window.addEventListener) { window.addEventListener('load', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }, false); } else { window.attachEvent('onload', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }); } } </script> <div id="navbar-iframe-container"></div> <script type="text/javascript" src="https://apis.google.com/js/plusone.js"></script> <script type="text/javascript"> gapi.load("gapi.iframes:gapi.iframes.style.bubble", function() { if (gapi.iframes && gapi.iframes.getContext) { gapi.iframes.getContext().openChild({ url: 'https://www.blogger.com/navbar.g?targetBlogID\x3d2401782729915949707\x26blogName\x3dCil\x27s+Cozy+Corner\x26publishMode\x3dPUBLISH_MODE_BLOGSPOT\x26navbarType\x3dSILVER\x26layoutType\x3dCLASSIC\x26searchRoot\x3dhttp://jcily.blogspot.com/search\x26blogLocale\x3den_US\x26v\x3d2\x26homepageUrl\x3dhttp://jcily.blogspot.com/\x26vt\x3d5502615249830686487', where: document.getElementById("navbar-iframe-container"), id: "navbar-iframe" }); } }); </script>
moi
Photobucket

Yosely. Cily. Jo. 郭臻璎。
Full time student. Translator and tutor.
Sarcasm plus cynicism mixed with genuine concern.
LOVE reading.
SHOEaholic.
Addicted to Western TV series.
Introvert AND extrovert at the same time.



wish list
NO REGRET
college again, major in Japanese literature
move out from Medan
a new phone
♥ a new digital camera
♥ great main job + fun side job
♥ certainty ;)

next to read
Wuthering Heights ~ Emily Brontë
The Book of Tomorrow ~ Cecelia Ahern
那个女孩叫 Feeling ~ 藤井树

daily reads

standing ovation to
This blogskin is proudly presented to you by Anna May with an icon from The Fading Night.

my other hideouts
days by days
Tentang Hujan dan Kamu
Sunday, September 18, 2011 @ 6:52 PM

I used to love rain a lot. Hujan yang aku nanti-nantikan karena bisa menjadi alasan absen dari rutinitas yang membosankan. Hujan yang mengusir hawa panas di Medan. Aku selalu merasa tenang setiap kali hujan mengguyur bumi. It makes me believe, whatever problem I have, it will be swept away too.

You have no idea about this. Sejak akhir tahun lalu, aku benci hujan. And surprisingly, it's because of you. Ya, kamu. Setiap kali hujan turun, aku ingat kamu. Tepatnya ke suatu malam di November'10, malam ketika aku kelaparan karena belum makan seharian, tetapi terlalu keras kepala dan penakut untuk nekat keluar di kota yang saat itu masih cukup asing bagiku.

I realised you're mad at me. Kamu memarahiku, mengutuk kemanjaanku pada dirimu, ketergantungan yang sampai saat ini tak bisa kujelaskan sebabnya. It's always been like that, I just know I can always depend on you, wherever and whenever.

You did come. Yeah, despite your swearing and annoyance, you're there, in that hotel room, looking at this spoiled brat with your trademark smirk. Terima kasih kamu sudah menerjang hujan demi menemaniku makan. Moreover, thanks for your understanding.

That night was one of the most memorable nights. You showed me the other side of you, the childish you, the side that I'd never known you have. Tawamu yang kekanak-kanakan ketika kamu berhasil merebut bantal dariku. Senyum menyebalkan yang tersungging sembari bertanya, "Lho, uda ngambek gegara ga dapat bantal?" God knows how I wish I could have frozen that moment. Kita bercanda dan tertawa lepas, sesuatu yang hampir tak pernah kita lakukan.

Just like every good thing in this life, it had to end. Mungkin itu salahku karena mengungkit topik itu. Atau mungkin itu hanyalah bom waktu yang meledak. Yang aku tahu pasti, di malam itu juga lah aku melihat sisi lain lagi darimu, the fragile you. You have no clue how much I was hurt when you told me I was fake. When you accused me for being selfish. Or when you told me I never cared about you, that everything was an act.

"Lu selalu bilang gw gengsian, tapi lu sadar ga sih, lu itu jauh lebih gengsian," katamu waktu itu. Aku terhenyak, tak pernah terbersit kalau aku membawa label "gengsian". "Yang benar aja, kalo memang aku gengsian, aku ga bakal ada di sini, di kota ini, demi ngebuktiin sesuatu yang bahkan aku ga tau itu apa," belaku.

"Lu bahkan ga tau kalo lu egois. Lu tau ga apa yang gw alami? Yang gw jalani belakangan ini? Lu selalu dan selalu mengeluh tentang hidup lu, tanpa pernah mau tau tentang gw," lanjutmu. Aku ingat betul, aku terdiam sebelum menjawabmu dengan dingin, "Gimana aku bisa tau kalo tiap kali aku nanya kamu, kamu langsung bilang aku kepo? Dan kamu selalu bilang aku ga perlu tau what's going on with your life."

Kita berdua terdiam.

"Hati-hati ya di jalan," kataku sambil melihat ke luar jendela. Yah, aku memang mengusirmu secara halus. I admit I was being coward, aku tak tahu apa yang akan terjadi kalau aku nekat berada di ruangan yang sama denganmu lebih lama lagi, we both know patience isn't our virtue.

Kamu berlalu setelah menghujamkan tatapan dinginmu.

That was the turning point. I've been struggling hard to be tough. Counting on you isn't as easy as 1, 2, 3 anymore. We changed drastically, thanks to that one night. Aku yang dulu selalu sabar tiap kali kamu naik darah telah lenyap. Now we are like two people whose achievement is when we manage to hurt each other.

I'm proud to say I've coped with the loss pretty well, tetapi semuanya kembali ke titik nol setiap kali hujan turun. Rain never ceases to bring me back to that night, the point of no return.

And this afternoon, it happened again. The heavy rain showered me with those memories with you.

They say home is where you're needed. Now that I think I don't need you as much as in the past, does it mean you're not my home anymore?

I miss you.

darLINKs